he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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