He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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