My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
