Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
