too bad you live with your parents still
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize