I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
