Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
