for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
