i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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