Porn is love you can see.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
