They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
