I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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