I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Little spoons don't ask big questions
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
