this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
