You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
