bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize