is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
