dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
