he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
