Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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