Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize