There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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