last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
