id be glad to
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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