i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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