he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
