he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
