I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
