I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
