Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize