Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
