with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
