I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
