Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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