Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
