I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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