Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
