Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
