If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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