you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
