Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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