is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Randomize
