I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
