Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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