lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
