As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The power of my boobs compel you
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
