you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
