is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
