So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
