normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
