Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
