i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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