you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
