I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
