return my video game
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
