update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
