I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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