how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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