# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
