I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
