I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
