When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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