i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
